Puns
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
Oh no!
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)