Puns

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.

But I also think I screwed it up.

What happens at night in Bangladesh?

It gets Dhaka.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

When do astronauts eat lunch?

At launch time.

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.

America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

What did Tennessee do?

The same thing Arkansas did.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

How did Jesus like his chicken?

Crucifried.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

They are making a movie about clocks.

It’s about time.