Puns
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.