Puns
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!