Puns
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
G@y 👌
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.