Puns
Are we supposed to submit jokes?
This website.
Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
I'm Clueless.
By M. T. Head.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
I want to die hahahahhaha.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.