Puns
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
I want to die hahahahhaha.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!