Puns

What is your name?

My ankle is named Samantha.

What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?

Nothing, it was feeling blue.

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.

I got banana nut bread for you.

Oh no, the nuts are missing!

Oh, I found them!

You know where they are?

UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

What's green and is dangerous?

Kermit with a flip knife.

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?

Doughnuts, because they're holy.

Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

I want to die hahahahhaha.

Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.

Wash your hands.

What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

What does a nosey paper do?

It gets "Jalapeño" your face!

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.

I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.

Maybe I’ll be Tracer.

I’m already Tracer!