Vampire

The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)

People

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

2 people bought plants.

3 people bought shovels.

1 person yelled.

3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Cat

What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?

"Meow!"

Marshmallow

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Poker

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

Hack

One day a fh iufh uig8v cdy ufh pufvbf ufiu pofiu9fh fiv9fd and a ihefipuivbrivbvhbuirhvbifbvirvueuvgevuebvuerevheubyebubv8ub and a uhckebckjebicbevivhcbehvhbeuybvuebvubvbevcb and one uchercvievciouevihevc98f9p8r78797t587t987dbgioubriogbrihj and they all say we are hacks.

Banana

What do you call a banana that can dance?

CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]

Guy

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

Dwarf

What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?

A small medium at large.

Egg

What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.