Puns
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...