Puns
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Black dog is gay.
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
One day a fh iufh uig8v cdy ufh pufvbf ufiu pofiu9fh fiv9fd and a ihefipuivbrivbvhbuirhvbifbvirvueuvgevuebvuerevheubyebubv8ub and a uhckebckjebicbevivhcbehvhbeuybvuebvubvbevcb and one uchercvievciouevihevc98f9p8r78797t587t987dbgioubriogbrihj and they all say we are hacks.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.