Puns
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"