Puns

One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

How do you plan a party in outer space?

You planet.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?

Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.

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Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,

he went to Ja-mall.

Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!

This ain't your mama's monologue.

Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"

What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.

I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.

What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?

Cool-Aid!

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

Mom: Go water the plants.

Me: But it’s raining outside.

Mom: Go grab the umbrella.

Me: What???

Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.

Don't touch my bot.