Puns
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
What do you call a mountain of kittens? A meowtain.
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Yeet.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.