Puns

Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.

How do you plan a party in outer space?

You planet.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

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Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,

he went to Ja-mall.

Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

Mom: Go water the plants.

Me: But it’s raining outside.

Mom: Go grab the umbrella.

Me: What???

What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.

Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"

Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!

This ain't your mama's monologue.

I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.

What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?

Cool-Aid!

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.

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Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"