Puns

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

Yeoooo.

When is a piece of wood made king?

When it's a ruler.

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

What do you call a banana eating a banana?

Canabananalism.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well!

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

This is fucking cringe smd fuckers.

You're overreacting.

My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"

What’s a booty’s favorite game?

Hide and cheek.

Your face.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

I have a son. Her name is Zara.

I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?

Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.

"Subah" means morning.