Puns

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

Why did the first fence hate the other fence?

The second fence used some of-fensive language.

No, I don't want to.

My Butterfingers slipped.

Sauron said, "Eye see all."

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

Pete: Knock, knock...

Paul: Who's there?

Pete: Boo...

Paul: Boo who?

Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!

Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

Yeoooo.

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!