Puns
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting? Octopied.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.