Puns

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

'Cause they're dead.

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

Where does Santa send his children to study?

The Elf-phabets.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?

Goudas.

What's your favorite type of flour?

Don't know.

Mines self-raising.

What is a wasp called?

A wannabe.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Are you peeling well?

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"

What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?

What happens when a pun isn’t funny?

It gets PUNished.

What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?

He forgot to adenine!

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

Are you fin-ished with your work?

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!