Puns

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.

What did the explorer say when he got tired?

I'm gonna take a map.

Diarrhea.

My grades.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

Tiresome is the quantification of tire.

Yeah, not too bad at all, really.

We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.

I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

What was the movie about the dog called?

The woof of Wall Street.

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.

I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!

BOB: Wanna know a joke?

LILLY: What? Your hat?

BOB: No, my life :'(