Dog

What was the movie about the dog called?

The woof of Wall Street.

Skeleton

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

Cannibal

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

Goose

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

Sprint

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

Crayon

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.

Broccoli

What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?

People don't eat their broccoli.

Life

BOB: Wanna know a joke?

LILLY: What? Your hat?

BOB: No, my life :'(

Squirrel

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

Mouth

Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.

Meat

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

Tea

Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?

Because proper tea is theft.

Paper

"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."