Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Puns
My grades.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
Tiresome is the quantification of tire.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
