Puns

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?

A pork chop.

What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?

A tromBONE.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

Let's taco about something.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Oofer.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

When do astronauts eat lunch?

At launch time.

I just found out I'm colorblind!

The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

G@y 👌

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