Puns

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Oofer.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

When do astronauts eat lunch?

At launch time.

I just found out I'm colorblind!

The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

G@y 👌

Your

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?

A shower ma! (shawarma)

What do you call a fish with a temper?

Undyne.

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

What’s a bird’s favorite movie?

The Parrots of the Caribbean.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.