Puns
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."