Puns
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."