What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
