What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
I have a really good construction joke.
But I'm still working on it.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
Jobs,
50 shapes head.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
I'm a clown.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
