New Profession Jokes - Page 7

Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?

All then are bad.

When does a doctor get mad?

When he runs out of patients!

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

What do you call a dev that is dead?

A deadveloper.

What did the bull say to the bullfighter?

What's the "matador?"

What is burned dark and glued to the wall?

A bad electrician.

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"

Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?

A panhandler.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."