Probability jokes

Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!

They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

Doctor: You have cancer.

Patient: Will I survive?

Doctor: Probably not.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.

10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.

You can't convince me otherwise.

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.