Probability jokes

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?

"Probably the dishes."

10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.

You can't convince me otherwise.

America get pranked lol.

Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.

Oh wait...

Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

What is black and white?

Probably Mexican history.

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.