Probability jokes

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways; What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.

Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?

When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

How is spinach like anal sex? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?

"Probably the dishes."

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?

Well, probably their kneecaps.