Probability jokes

Now that I think about it, Jane Doe's story actually makes complete sense. If I were dumb enough to show up blackout drunk for a threesome at a frat party, it'd probably also take me 20 days of regret to realize that being raped is a way better look than a gang-bang straight off of Pornhub.

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!

Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

America get pranked lol.

Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.

Oh wait...