Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
(This format is probably easier to read)
-Dude, What is your favorite rapper?
-He is very cold blooded
-Why?
-He is Ice Cube
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
