Probability

Probability jokes

Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"

So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

He'll probably leave her alone now.

He doesn't eat vegetables.

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  • You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

    I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

    Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

    Broccoli is like anal sex.

    If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

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  • The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.

    I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

    "Why do people call Americans excessive?"

    "It was probably because of WWII."

    "Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

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  • You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.