New Price Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

yo mama so old on her birth certificate it said expired yo mama so fat when she sat non a rainbow skittles popped out yo mama so fat when she sat on walmart the prices went down yo mama so poor she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list yo mama so ugly she made the deviel go to church

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

Chocolate rain Some stay dry and others feel the pain Chocolate rain A baby born will die before the sin Chocolate rain The school books say it can't be here again Chocolate rain The prisons make you wonder where it went Chocolate rain Build a tent and say the world is dry Chocolate rain Zoom the camera out and see the lie Chocolate rain Forecast to be falling yesterday Chocolate rain Only in the past is what they say Chocolate rain Raised your neighborhood insurance rates Chocolate rain Makes us happy 'livin in a gate Chocolate rain Made me cross the street the other day Chocolate rain Made you turn your head the other way Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Seldom mentioned on the radio Chocolate rain It's the fear your leaders call control Chocolate rain Worse than swearing worse than calling names Chocolate rain Say it publicly and you're insane Chocolate rain No one wants to hear about it now Chocolate rain Wish real hard it goes away somehow Chocolate rain Makes the best of friends begin to fight Chocolate rain But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain Every February washed away Chocolate rain Stays behind as colors celebrate Chocolate rain The same crime has a higher price to pay Chocolate rain The judge and jury swear it's not the face Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Dirty secrets of economy Chocolate rain Turns that body into GDP Chocolate rain The bell curve blames the baby's DNA Chocolate rain But test scores are how much the parents make Chocolate rain Flippin' cars in France the other night Chocolate rain Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai Chocolate rain 'Cross the world and back it's all the same Chocolate rain Angels cry and shake their heads in shame Chocolate rain Lifts the ark of paradise in sin Chocolate rain Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain More than marchin', more than passing law Chocolate rain Remake how we got to where we are Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400..some day. No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages. $15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe. 50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving. Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports. New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects. Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up. Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

Your so poor not even dollar tree has your prices

Your moms so fat, when she sat on walmart, she lowered the prices!

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

gan cube prices

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.

"Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.

"Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"

"I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.

"Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."

"Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."

"Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"

"Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."

The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."

"Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."

The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What!?" says the man.

"Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."

"And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"

"Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."

"My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"

"Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."

"And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.

"No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."