President jokes
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!