President jokes
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!