President jokes
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What did Obama ask Trump?
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Joe Biden
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)