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President

President jokes

Everyone

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

Escort

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

Accomplishment

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

Memes

President memes

Election

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Woman

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Shot

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

Donald Trump

Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?

Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!

Clock

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

  • 3

    • Night

    Hillary Clinton is elected president...

    And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

    Lincoln

    Which president has never gone to jail?

    Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

    Perk

    Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.