Power jokes

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

Splat.

The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Putin's Brain:

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.