Power Jokes

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

Splat.

The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Putin's Brain:

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."