Power jokes
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
Yo mama so dumb, she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I have the power."
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?