Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
Yo mama so dumb, she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I have the power."
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
