Power jokes
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
I'm psychicking your butt.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine.
He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts, “Voodoo Dick, the door!”
The wooden penis flies across the room and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashier’s desk and, once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box, and the cashier closes the lid.
The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!”
The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip.
A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout, “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can but just can’t get it out. The wife panics and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims, “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!”
The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
Naruto solos.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.