Power jokes

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.

Death once had a near Chuck experience.

If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

There was a power outage.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?

A. By using her equal strength.

On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."

So, Duracell batteries do run out.

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

What do the mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.