Potato jokes
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Do you know Ligma... potatoes?
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?