Potato jokes
Why did the boy put the potatoes 馃 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Teacher: Don鈥檛 run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he鈥檚 a mashed potato.
Potatoes
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa