Dont worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die. But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I wont die because the potato is already dead and cant attack my immune system.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day Give a man a poisoned potato, hell be full for the rest of his life.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
your so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips
man: die potato potato: *screams* i like trains kid: i like trains man: no wait train: *kills man*
why do potatoes make good detectives because tey keep there eyes peeled
Everytime i come in the kitchen my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food like the fried chicken the mashed potatoes the collard greens mac and cheese and the corn bread. Then i said i wanna eat some of that shit i love soul food then i told her you keep it up your fat ass is going to big like house on a haunted hill.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
prawn COCKtail
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
What do you call a baby potato 🥔?
Small Fry!
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
For every orphan a bag of chips is family size
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told by to hurry ?
I yamm
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
What is your car 🚙 you can not drive ? A super flying car 🚘
- What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
a blonde a brunette and a redhead are robbing a bank. the police are soon after them so they hide in a bunch of barrels. the police arrive and search the area, they come over too the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it, the brunette says "woof". "oh, it's just a dog" says the police officer and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. the redhead says "meow", "oh it's just a cat" says the officer then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden the blonde says "potato"
