Potato jokes
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Potato.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.