Politics jokes
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Memes
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.