Politics jokes
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Capital Of San Marino?
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Communism is actually kinda tight.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.