Politics jokes
What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?
No one likes them.
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Genders are like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.