Politics jokes

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

What do the initials CIA stand for?

Central Intelligence of A**holes.

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

What is a yellow dog Libertarian?

A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽

Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?

Smoking.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.

Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.

Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!

Communism is actually kinda tight.