Politics jokes
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
Memes
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.