Politics jokes
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.