Politics jokes
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Memes
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
Fuck Jewkraine!
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.