Politics jokes
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What was Hitler known for?
His exceptional cost efficiency.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.