Politics jokes
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
"Sharing is communism."
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What did Obama ask Trump?
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?