Politics jokes
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
Abortion is not a joke.
Black lives matter.
What is the motto of left-wing authoritarianism?
We don't have one, so you don't need one.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.