Politics jokes

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?

A knife has a point.

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...

I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?

A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.

British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.

Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.

What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?

They are both twisted.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

The "S" in Putin stands for smart.

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!

The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.

Black and bitter.

The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.

What's fast and almost got away?

A Mexican jumping the border.

What is a Mexican's only obstacle?

Border patrol.