Politics jokes
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.