Politics jokes
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Why does Donald Trump love little boys?
Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?