Politics jokes

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?

A fetus has more rights.

Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they already lost the Twin Towers.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?

Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"

Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?

Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.

Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?

Cold War.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.

Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.

Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?

You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.

Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].