Politics jokes
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
Yo mama is Obama.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.