Politics jokes
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
What about women's lefts?
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
What would be Joe Biden's name if he was an orphan? "Joe."
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!