Politics jokes
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
People are pushing for a Black Statue Of Liberty coin.
Can't wait to use Black people as currency again :)
Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?
Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.