Politics jokes
Like this if you like me.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?
No one likes them.
Black lives matter.
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.