Politics

Politics jokes

God

If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

Just to ask the other guy.

Talk about a male supremacist religion.

Dora

Dora, where do we go next?

Kids at home: Area 51.

Meanwhile,

Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.

1 day later,

Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!

Code

Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!

It was eloHssA OllEH!!

Memes

Orphan

Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.

Guy

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

Hitler

Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.

Trump

What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?

Yessssss, MEaster!

Trump

"myname is president trump i am stupid!!! I am SO STUPID!! AJsifdjsaoifjhdsfoijds"

Child

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

Woman

So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."

America

What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!

And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!

Melania Trump

Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?

Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"

Terrorist

Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?

Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."

Hair

Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.

History

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."