New Politics Jokes - Page 47 - Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?

Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?

What's so wrong about Trump being in office?

He steals all the cats.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.