Politics jokes
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
How did Hitler get killed?
With a "NEIN" millimeter.
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!