Politics jokes

Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.

Nobody:

JFK: :) Hi guys!

JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.

Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.

We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Do you know Biden?

Biden on these nuts.

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

Q: Why is America bad at chess?

A: Because they already lost two towers.

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

All hail President Trump!

If the USA is so good,

Why did they make a USB?