If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
