Politics jokes
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
How did Hitler get killed?
With a "NEIN" millimeter.
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."