Politics jokes
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
All hail President Trump!
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
When you fail art school.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.