Playground jokes

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

When the school lets you near children again...

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Why'd the girl fall off the swing?

'Cause she had no arms.

Knock, knock!! Who's there?

Not the girl.

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.

There were three boys on the top of a slide.

The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"

Balls.

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

What’s harder than steel?

Michael Jackson in a playground.

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.