Playground jokes
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Funny Test Answers #3
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."