Playground

Playground jokes

Swing

  • Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

    Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

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  • Orphan

  • Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

    So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

    Son

  • My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

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  • Slide

  • Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

    When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

    Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

    Swing

  • Why did Sally fall off the swings?

    Because she had no arms.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Sally!

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  • Dog

  • In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

    They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

    The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

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  • Orphan

  • Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

    What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

    Sister

  • My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

    In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

    Swing

  • Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Not Susie.

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  • Orphan

  • I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

    The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."