Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
