Playground jokes

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Thanos snapped.

Why did Mary fall off the swings?

She got hit by a refrigerator.

Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."

Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.