What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Whatβs the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! π€£
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan
A: Apples get pickedπ±
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
