Plant jokes
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Want to hear a maze joke?
Never mind, too corny.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.