Plant jokes
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
What flowers are on your face?
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.