Plant jokes

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, Bud!

What flowers are on your face?

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."

Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"

Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."

"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

What's an orphan's favorite flower?

Self-raising flour.

What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.

Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?

He got corn-ered!

Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?

He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

How do fish get high?

Because they eat seaweed.

Jack and Jill went up a hill

To pick some dill.

Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,

And he needed a painkiller pill.