Plant jokes
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
And walk, walk home, and...
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!