Pizza

Pizza jokes

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Plane

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

Delivery

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Bleach

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

Fat

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

911

A collection of 911 jokes.

What kinda pizza did they order at 911?

Plane.

What was the color of 911?

Plane.

What is the fastest way to see 911?

Plane.

Wood

Wood fired pizza?

How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

Please drop a like.

Twin Towers

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

Emo

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

Fireplace

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Box

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Circle

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?