Pizza jokes
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra rhyme-a-jalapenos.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Nothing, it was just plane.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.