
Pig jokes
Conspiracy Theorists: Technoblade is still alive!
Me: Pigs live between 15 and 20 years!
Fans: 馃槶馃槶馃槶
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread? He's bacon.
One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,
"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."
Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"
Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......
And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 馃槀
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here鈥檚 your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 馃槀馃槀
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 馃槀
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
You got a pig head!
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
