Pig jokes
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
My friendâs neighborâs house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Memes
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
"Peppa Pig"-like pandemics.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, âLook at this pig I have to sleep with every night.â
The wife says, âHoney, thatâs a goat.â
The husband replies with, âI was talking to the goat.â
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? âPut it on my bill.â
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you canât sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacherâs eyes crossed? She couldnât control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, âmini-sodaâ).
12. Why couldnât the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you canât use âbeef stewâ as a password. Itâs not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldnât you write with a broken pencil? Because itâs pointless.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 â 20 years (23 years old is way above).
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.