Pig jokes
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
What鈥檚 the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.