Pig jokes
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
You look as fat as a pig.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
You are a fat pig.